When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there, you don't.
You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.
You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "The City".
You never realize you have an accent till you leave.
At some point in your life you've gone clamming.
Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city.
You'd pay $9.50 for a movie.
You don't live in Long Island. You live ON Long Island
You know where the Commack Motor Inn is.
Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.
You can correctly pronounce places like Happauge, Commack, Islip, Hicksville, Massapequa.
You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.
You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica.."
You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
No, you don't want mustard on that burger!!
You've had a seagull crap on your car.
You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville.
You went to an elementary school that promoted dodge ball as the number 1 game among children 7-13.
You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks but you periodically "Get the Crave".
You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan.
You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 out of Penn and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.
You or someone you know has owned an animal that came from North Shore Animal League.
Quick! Who's the Suffolk County Executive? Don't know do you?!
You've never taken an MTA bus.
The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.
You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
You know which parts of the Godfather were filmed on Long Island.
You've paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for it.
You miss wiffle Ball and running through sprinklers.
You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it grow up.
Billy Joel said it best, "either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore".
You don't really see the big deal about the Hamptons, unless you got smashed at the Bordy barn.
When people ask "where are you from?" you answer Long Guy Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.
You've always liked Billy Joel and you own several of his "records"
The Belt Parkway sucks!
Your parents took you to Nathans or Carvel (on the way home from the beach).
Regular gas - $3.39 and you still pay it!!!
You hate paying tolls.
You don't have to go far to see your family.